Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Life and Times without Cheese

I've never had a test that said I was lactose intolerant. But my brother might be. And one of my most popular blog entries includes the very searchable phrase "horrid farts." I know, this isn't what you want to read about while you snack in front of the TV. So I'm warning you now, it doesn't get better.

In that blog post in September 2007, I decided to lay off the milk products for awhile. Well, I can guarantee you that didn't last long. Andy supported me while I purchased something strange like almond cheese, which was a disaster in making cheesy chips. The almond "cheese" solidified so hard immediately after coming out of the microwave that we had to bang the chips on the plate to get them apart. Cheese substitutes just don't cut it. Much to the detriment of my bowels.

I've since realized that I'm addicted to cheese. I LOVE cheese, cream, butter, yogurt, and sour cream. Somehow, I have managed to put soy milk instead of regular milk in my cereal and my mornings are much more manageable. But I haven't gotten to the point where I don't eat cheese. It's too hard. Everything delicious has cheese on it. Here is a list of delicious things that are best with cheese/dairy: sandwiches, pasta, tacos, cheesy-chips, yogurt with frozen fruit, salads, toast (including garlic cheesy toast), pizza, eggs (and egg sandwiches), corn on the cob dripping with butter, lefse, and ice cream.

Recently though I've been getting terrible stomachaches and they're distracting. I can't concentrate at work and I hold my breath while walking around. And that's no way to live. So with Andy's prodding, I've decided to go cheese free and keep a food journal with my symptoms. Hopefully in 2 weeks I'll be able to not eat dairy and feel like a million bucks. I vowed last night not to have dairy and so far today I've eaten buttered popcorn and had four cheese sauce on my pasta for dinner (though no cheese on top!). We'll see how this goes.

To get my encouragement up, I will make a list of delicious things that don't include cheese/dairy. Help me out if I've missed something: fried rice, noodles (like for holidays), cranberry sauce, sliced pears, olives, applesauce, salads are OK without cheese, beer, whiskey, chicken, bacon, tomatoes (are still delicious without mozzarella), carrots, green beans (French cut!), tea, tofutti cuties are good, and actually tofu ice"cream" in general is good.

Here goes!

1 comment:

Tony! said...

At first I thought your list of things of dairy/cheese was just things that are good with cheese on them and I couldn't figure out how ice cream with fruit and cheese would be good at all.

Good Dairyless things:
Water, Bread, Salt, Vinegar, Office Paper, Grass Fed Beef, Strawberry Flavored Spermicidal Lubricant, Horseradish, Long Walks On The Beach, Jelly, Honey, Tea, Sour Kraut, and Chinese Take-Out.