Amanda's Amazing Diet Plan

I have no dietary authority, just opinions and ideas. So you don’t have to listen to my amazing diet suggestions. But I strongly recommend you do. Because they’re awesome.

WARNING: This is an explicit post.

Amanda’s Amazing diet plan consists of two simple rules:

1. Don’t eat shit
2. Move your ass

It’s explicit because you need tough love to get the idea across. Plus, who wants to eat shit?

I’m sure you’ll have many questions regarding these two rules.

Question 1: What counts as shit?

Good question. Shit is most anything that comes from a fast food restaurant. Even salads. I just don’t trust them. Fried chicken shouldn’t be on a salad. Shit also counts as eating too much of any one thing. I saw a TV show where an overweight man couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t losing weight. “I’ve been eating oranges!” he exclaimed. Eating 16 oranges for a meal doesn’t count as eating healthy.

Same goes for 16 brownies, sliders, and beers. Vary your food and eat it in moderation. If you eat a small amount of a variety of food, you’ll probably have a meal with more complete nutrition.

Question 2: What doesn’t count as shit?

The lines between shit and non-shit are blurry (as with the previous orange example). There are many distinctions you’ll have to learn for yourself. In general, you should up your fruit and veggies. Did that meal you just ate have any fruits or vegetables? If not, it was probably a shit meal.

Just about anything you cook for yourself at home is not shit. There are some examples of cooking shit for yourself that isn’t good. Case in point, I made some sodium-laden fried gnocchi and I could feel my arteries working harder as I ate. Just because I peeled and mashed the potatoes myself doesn’t mean it was healthy. Additionally, if all you make for yourself are cinnamon rolls and chocolate cake… that is also shit.

Bonus time! Cooking for yourself helps accomplish rule 2, “Move your ass”. While cooking you’re up and about, going hither and thither, while if you eat dinner sitting at a restaurant well, you’re just sitting. Also, when cooking you become more conscious of what you eat, good and bad. Plus, it allows you to really enjoy your food because you put the effort into making it. You’ll realize you’ll start thinking things like, “I put too much time into this damn pizza crust and we will scrape this doughy mess off the wax paper and eat it raw if it kills us!” One exception to the “Don’t eat shit rule” - if your homemade recipe turns into an inedible disaster, getting take out is OK.

Question 3: What’s a good way to “Move my ass”?

Move your ass means stop driving around the parking lot for 10 minutes to get the closest spot. Just pull into the lot and pick the first spot you see and walk the extra couple of yards. It won’t kill you. Also, work activity into your day that makes you more active. Get up and talk to someone at work instead of calling or emailing. Take the stairs when you can. Go for walks, after dinner, after breakfast, during your lunch break.

Flexing your abs while you watch TV doesn’t fulfill rule number 2. Speak of… turn off your damn TV. It’ll suck you in until you didn’t realize its midnight and you haven’t moved for the past four hours. I know because I’ve been there. Gyms and stuff are nice, but our skinny-assed ancestors didn’t go to the Y four times a week. They just worked hard and were thin because there was no other way.

At this point I realize this is not really a diet plan, it’s a lifestyle plan. There is overwhelming evidence that says you can’t be healthy by improving just diet or exercising more. You have to change both at the same time to improve your health.

One last tidbit and it’s something that really irks me: STOP MAKING EXCUSES. “I’m too tired, we don’t have all the ingredients, it’s too late, I have a cold, I’m in a hurry.” It’s all bullshit. If you keep making excuses, you’ll never make it a habit and you’ll never get where you want to be.

Now go outside and play.

Harvesting Pumpkins

This past weekend was the last weekend the Midtown Farmer's Market would be open, so Andy and I thought we'd swing by and see what we could see. We rode our bikes over since it was a wonderful day. Once there we saw lots of delightful foods available, so we made some purchases and we rode home with 2 pumpkins, a bunch of potatoes, pork chops, carrots and lettuce.

This is what Andy did with his pumpkin. He got lots of compliments from trick or treaters.

I used a bigger knife on my pumpkin.

Earlier this fall I decided I wanted to make something with pumpkin from a real pumpkin, not out of can. So today was the day and I made a pumpkin pie! It was an interesting experience, especially since our cheap blender sucks and a food processor would have worked a million times better for pureeing the pumpkin stuff.

But first I had cut open the pumpkin, which was a task. The directions in the old version of The Joy of Cooking instruct you to "hack" the pumpkin into 4 inch pieces. Hack I did. Next I roasted the hacked up pieces for a good while. Then I scraped off the soft flesh and then "processed" it so it wouldn't be stringy. This is me scraping my roasted pumpkin pieces.

After the frustrating experience with the blender, everything else worked out pretty well. The pumpkin pie turned out great! Though I wouldn't recommend listening to how The Joy of Cooking tells you to check how it's done, sticking a knife in the center would work much better.

This is what I came up with today after an afternoon spent hacking, scraping, whisking and baking. On the bottom is the pumpkin pie, above that is extra puree for pumpkin muffins and on top pumpkin seeds to be roasted later.

But you can't eat pumpkin pie without whipped cream! We didn't have any cool whip on hand, but I had leftover heavy whipping cream from the pie, so I whipped up some whip cream. It's fast, easy and delicious!

Here's the finished product (with a bite missing)!

Overall, my making a pumpkin pie from a real pumpkin experience was a lot of fun and I got to try out some new things. I learned more about baking and took the first tentative step to cooking with winter squash. Also, I learned that it's helpful to have the right tools in the kitchen. Sometimes improvising with what you have works well, like using coffee filters to strain the pumpkin puree instead of cheesecloth. But other times, a blender just doesn't do the trick.

Duluth!

Quite awhile ago, Pete, Andy, Candace and I went to Duluth for a day trip and see what we could see. We of course started our day at the famous tourist site of the Graffiti Graveyard. Candace, Pete and Andy hadn't seen it yet, and I thought they might enjoy it; and they did! We saw some HUGS and gave some hugs as well.

HUGS lives on!

Andy and I in a typical tourist pose at a typical tourist attraction.

Then we went on a cruise around the harbor and out onto the lake. It was really fun to be on the lake. I don't think I have been on Lake Superior ever, so it was really cool to see Duluth from afar. In the harbor there is also an area for wind turbines to be delivered. I was really excited to see that and took many pictures. The tour guides on the boat kept referring to the turbines and "wind mills" and I wanted to correct them, but I held my tongue.

On the boat.

A view of Duluth from the water.

A big boat!

Wind turbine blades in the harbor.

On the rocks.

Pete looking statuesque in front of the lift bridge.

After our boat tour we dined at the Anchor Bar in Superior, which is a fine establishment. It reminds me of the Saloon in Rockville with a nautical theme. I had a delicious olive burger and a beer and it was a reasonable price too! If you're ever in the area, I suggest trying out the Anchor Bar. It's delicious!

With our tummies full we headed up to Enger Tower to see Duluth from above. It was starting to get windier and was quite exciting to climb to the top of the tower. The clouds started to roll in and began to rain. That was our cue then that it was time to head home. Duluth is a fun city and it was a fun day!

Pete climbing the hill to Enger Tower.

Ringing my bell.

View of Duluth from Enger Park.

Camping!

This past weekend Andy and I took a trip down to Frontenac State Park for a camping trip! This was our first time camping together and it was loads of fun. We reserved a sweet cart-in site, where we packed up our stuff in a cart and pushed it about a 1/4 mile to our site. Think of it as one step away from car camping.

Andy being my pack ass. On the way back I carried the backpack.

The pooper wasn't too far from our campsite.

Only one other couple and their dog was camping in the same area as us, so it was really quite and nice. The site was nice too, except it was really muddy due to recent wetness. The first day we set up our site, ate a snack, and then took a hike around the area. We saw some large birds of prey, though we weren't sure what kinds of birds they were. We were able to get pretty close, until Andy stepped on a stick and scared them off. A bird book might be helpful for identifying the birds we see on future hikes. A tree book would be nice as well, so that we know what trees we're looking at when they start to grow leaves.

Andy enjoying a delicious snack.

Andy and I by Lake Pepin.

Birds! They have red faces, so I really don't know what they are.

After hiking Andy built a fire and we started cooking our dinner. I don't think I've ever been camping without some sort of camp stove and guaranteed method of cooking, so I was a bit nervous trying to cook without one. We planned on cooking brats and wieners; however, we forgot a utensil for taking our cooked wieners off the grate. In Wabasha we went to a very friendly hardware store and found this nifty clamping grate thing that we could stick in the fire and cook our dogs. It worked beautifully! Much to my surprise.

Cooking wieners.

The finished product! A delicious dinner.

After that there wasn't much to do and it was getting pretty cold. So we retired to the tent and Andy tried to patch his Thermarest, it didn't hold. My air mattress is in Indiana still, so I slept uncomfortably on the hard ground. It was terribly cold that night and I couldn't sleep because I hurt on all sides from the ground and I had to pee, but I didn't want to get up again in the dark. Finally when it was light I ventured out and relived myself. I was able to get back to sleep and wake up to the wonderful words, "Amanda, I got the water boiling!" Andy had managed to get the fire going enough to boil our water for our morning tea and oatmeal! It was a wonderful start to the day.

Andy enjoying his morning tea and oatmeal.

We then took a morning hike in the fog and started down the side of the bluff. It was a really pretty walk down and exciting to get closer to the water. On the way up the fog burned off and it turned out to be quite a beautiful day. After packing our stuff up and heading out, Andy and I stopped at the Whistle Stop cafe in Frontenac Station for lunch.

The foggy road.

These are the switchbacks that lead down the side of the bluff to Lake Pepin.

Me in front of the steep climb.

One of the few things that were actively growing.

My artsy reflection picture.

Camping was a lot of fun and Andy and I plan on doing a lot more. We've decided a blow up air mattress and a camp stove are two important things that we should get in the future. Hopefully since it's getting warming freezing to death at night won't be as much of a concern now. We've also discovered campsites that you can hike into that are 1 to 5 miles from parking. This is our next step as we get better at this whole camping thing.

Finals are over, so now what?

Last week was finals week and it went surprisingly well. Each of my finals weren't as difficult as I anticipated. The grades that have come back thus far have been good, so I'm happy about that. What I'm not happy about is my lack of employment. My work study job at the psychology department is no longer (at least for the summer) because I don't have work study funds for the summer. My brilliant plan to graduate this summer fell through because of one class and one lame department head telling me that 3 credits were too many to do an independent study. So now in addition to having to pay for another semester of college and reapply for loans, I don't have a job with which to ease that burden.

After finals were finished Mom and Dad drove up from Indiana for my graduation ceremony the coming Monday. That Saturday Tony and Laura ventured down to the cities as well and they took Andy and I out to dinner. First was shopping for Tony some new clothes because he can't do it without my mom. I also obtained new "kicks" that I'm really excited about. After dinner I went back to Minneapolis and hung out with Mike, Adam, Dan, and the rest of the gang. They were playing drinking games that involved overly carbonated beer and I couldn't compete. Afterward Andy and I headed to Van Cleave to play on the playground. Where instead we "wrasseled" with Ross and I lost my phone in the sand. Surprisingly it was still there in the morning, in good working order despite being a bit sandy.

Sunday involved brunch with my former neighbors and a stop by the old house. In the last 11ish months the new owner, Jimmy, has changed just about everything he could with the house. Admittedly the garden looks nicer (except for the statue of a dog's butt that makes it look like it's digging in the garden), but it's all overly arts and craftsy. Really quite gross, but hey, if that's what he likes, so be it.

Monday was the big day! I got to graduate this spring because Carlson only has one ceremony a year. So it was either before I graduate or well after I finish up. The ceremony was horribly disorganized as no one really knew where to go. But in the end we all ended up in a line of more or less alphabetical order. I'm glad I'm not in CLA because the processions in and out and the reading of names took far too long, and CLA is much larger than Carlson. Steve Forbes was the speaker, and he turned out to be quite funny and that made everything more bearable. Nothing exciting happened as I walked across the stage, though I could hear the high-pitched cheers from my mom and Andy. Here's a photo:

Me "walking" at Northrup.

Dad, Mom, and I posing with my "diploma."

That night we went out for fancy dinner at the Capital Grille and it went really well. Andy and I ordered entire chickens without realizing. And I got a rose for being a "graduate." It was quite nice. I also got my laptop back Monday, and I was really excited. Except I never got any of the files off of the computer, so I have to go back and get those. It's nice to have the laptop back though. Except now I have to replace all of my music, and that'll be annoying without the network of my former home.

So now it's Wednesday and I still don't have a job. I'll be cleaning my room today, looking for a job, making a list of things I need to get, maybe making a dent in that chicken, and possibly plotting out bike routes for my extreme free time.

The only thing that really makes me feel better about myself is that I'm not a 10 month old baby from Illinois with a gun license.